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John McTaint 2008
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Economic Wishes

John McTaint believes America is going great. John McTaint wants to eliminate the minimum wage. In a global economy, you should be paid what you're worth. John McTaint says trust your secret leaders. And the Fed.
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American Energy

John McTaint promises a barrel of light sweet crude oil for every legal American family. John McTaint believes easy choices lie ahead. John McTaint maintains we must began free and open market drilling in all 50 states NOW.
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National Security

John McTaint says don't be unpatriotic. John McTaint believes you should go to American Hero camps. John McTaint thinks that people who talk end up outlined in chalk. We're at war.
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Health Care

A call to inaction: John McTaint's clouded vision for health care capitulation. John McTaint will reform the tax code to offer tax credits to affluent families to offset cost of health insurance. John McTaint will make health insurance incoherent, potable and less affordable.
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Iraq

John McTaint believes it is essential for the United States to support Iraq with as much money as possible. John McTaint says "Let's not be hasty with history. Stay the course!" John McTaint has been a leading follower of the course already laid out for us for a long time. It's next to Iran.
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Climate Change

John McTaint believes we need to expand greenhouse emissions. John McTaint believes America should immobolize innovative technologies. John McTaint is going to think about thinking about the future.
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Immigration

Our borders must be secure at all costs, no matter what the expense, by building walls on all four borders. Award a no-bid contract to Pakistani border patrol to secure the border and help fight the War On Terror. Beefed-Up Border Patrol and INS Launch Proposed "Green Energy" camps as Homeland alternative energy source.
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The Insanctity Of Life

John McTaint wants to ban and outlaw Roe v. Wade. Protecting the institute of marriage in the civil war that saved the union of a man and woman. Free bottles of (the generic equivalent of) Ambien for all legal, God-fearing American citizens.
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Natural Heritage

John McTaint is a leading follower of global climate policy. John McTaint promises better-tasting water by collaborating with legal American farmers by adding high fructose corn syrup flavoring to American water. John McTaint will continue to rally for America's Natural Heritage by drilling at least 100 feet away from of any school.
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Education

John McTaint believes American Education is available for those who can afford it. John McTaint vows to make Bush's No Child Left Behind a permanent fixture of American education. If a student will not change, the schools should have the power to change its students with government-approved medication.
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Family Planning

John McTaint guarantees we'll have free over-the-counter male enhancement pills to ensure the American family remains large. John McTaint promises to build American Birthing Clinics in every state. John McTaint says V is for victory and vitality!
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Border Security

John McTaint says our borders must be secure at all costs, no matter what the expense, by building walls on all four borders. John McTaint promises to award a no-bid contract to Pakistani border patrol to secure the border. John McTaint proposes border patrol and INS launch proposed "Green Energy" camps as Homeland alternative energy source.
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